Do I wear the orange hat with the green scarf or the blue beret with the gold broach?

Our trip to London is quickly approaching and I must admit my biggest concern (now that the flight and B&B is booked) is what to wear! The last time I traveled over seas it was to Italy and Greece, and lets face it, I had no hopes of fitting in there! Too pale and too low fashion. Everywhere we went it was 'American? I can help you!' Not Canadian, Australian or even British... American. I'm not saying that I'm not 'proud to be an American', but there is something to be said for submersing yourself in a culture and... not sticking out like a sore thumb! Now finally I'm going to a place that pale skin and frizzy hair isn't too abnormal. Finally!

The travel book that Luke picked out suggests bringing all types of clothing (year round). This way, you may dress for the temperature and not be perceived as a rude American, by complaining about it being too hot or too cold. I get it. That's a great idea. But I have this little thing that I like to call 'over-packers disease'. Once I get started I can't stop! Some where deep down I think that I am part boyscout or something. I can't stand not 'being prepared'. I have to have a sweater in summer and short-sleeves in winter. I'll definitely need my dressy jeans and my casual jeans... my skinny pants and my I-had-one-too-pints-at-that-last-pub pants... But where does it end? I also have to take into consideration that I have to get through security/customs twice (each way). Fortunately I don't have a wardrobe entirely comprised of liquids and gels, but still... my blow dryer looks like a weapon! Speaking of which I need to get an outlet converter or else I really will be aiming a deadly weapon at my head...

I really want to go shopping for new things. I want to get a new hair cut. But then again I want to save my money for the trip! What is a girl to do? I may have one idea...

Quotable Quotes

I just picked up a copy of Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins.  After the dedication and before the prologue there are a couple of quotes, one of which I just love.  It got me thinking.  What are some of your favorite quotes?

Here's the one that I read:

"You don't need to leave your room,

Remain sitting at your table and listen.

Don't even listen, simply wait.

Don't even wait.

Be quite still and solitary.

The world will freely offer itself to you.

To be unmasked, it has no choice.

It will roll in ecstasy at your feet."

-Franz Kafka

10 things... that bring me joy!

So in order to follow up that miserable pity party I have decided to make my own twist on my recent 'tag' of "ten things you may or may not know about me".

1. I am amazingly blessed to have married the love of my life.  He is loving, caring, forgiving and most importantly in recent months... tolerant.  I'll be the first to admit that I have had basket-case tendencies in the past few months.  He has managed to put up with discussions about my job, our future, where we'll live, and, in general 'our paths'.  What can I say,  I've been slightly obsessed.

2. Our families.  I have been very fortunate to find that my mother and sister are two of the best friends I've ever had.  We're silly together.  We shop together.  We can ever share a few margaritas and bitch together.  And besides, they're family... they have to put up with me.  And not to brag, but I think I may have the best in-laws that the world has ever known.  E is hilarious, loquacious, and admirable.  Truly a great friend and ally. H is sweet, caring and overall just a good guy.  He makes me feel that I am really his daughter.  And T, well, its fun having a kid brother.

3. Our fantastically fat Kitten (pictured above in his newly acquired Montgomery Biscuits souvenir helmet).  We have had many self-proclaimed 'not cat people' people tell us how awesome he is... and he is.  Mr. Sullivan is fluffy, fat and fabulous.  He is much more like a dog than any cat I've ever met.  He greets me at the door, begs for food and even lets me pet his belly.  By far, my favorite thing that he does is nuzzling my arm and falling asleep in my lap.  Second to that is his 'flop' (nuzzling my feet and then collapsing to the floor... I can't do the cuteness justice).

4. Our trip to England.  I am so excited to share a little piece of Europe with my beau.  As long as my vacation days work out, we will be leaving in mid May and have just under a week to see all we can see of London (and because we are dorks... Cardiff).  Luke has been to London before, but he was a teenager... so no pubs... so he hasn't really been to London.  I've been to Italy and Greece.  But it will be nice to go a country that speaks our native language, sort of.  

5. Our friends.  We certainly don't see our friends nearly as often as we would like, but they are a source of joy in my life none the less.  We were blessed to have some concurrent vacation time and were able to go to Montgomery for the Biscuits opener.  Although it makes me very sad to think of all the fun we miss out on while being in Birmingham, the time that we do have is amazing.  When we returned home today we met up with Cassie and Jacob for a rainy day cookout which was filling to say the least.

6. Spring.

7. Cleaning.  I love bathing in a clean shower and crawling into a made bed.

8. The sound the Kirby makes through the WiiMote when I select him as my character for serious ass kickin' on SSBB.

9. Reading blogs.  It's like non-creepy voyeurism. 

10. A good book.  Come to think of it... I go back to work on Tuesday... I'm going to be in need of a good distraction... any suggestions?

In conclusion I would like to apologize for my previous pity party.  I have so much joy in my life sometimes it is too easy to pin-point the things that aren't perfect and forget about all the blessings.  I have so many things to be thankful for and one of them, dear reader, is you!

Did you miss me...

*note picture added as ironic side-note... I actually meant this... sad isn't it?

Probably not, but I'm back anyways...

You know how you feel when you run into an old friend that you haven't seen in years?  You used to be really close, but you just drifted apart.  Of course, you're excited to see them, but when they ask how you've been and what has been happening in your life, you just don't know how to sum up years worth of experiences so you just say...'not much'.  That's how I feel as I sit here typing.  It seems that all at once, everything and nothing at all has happened.  Work is work.  I could complain more, but I don't want to risk sounding like a broken record.  I am still in need of change and at risk of becoming stagnant.  I would look for new work, but it seems pointless.  I know too many people looking and not finding.  Besides I would be immediately fired if I was caught submitting my resume anywhere.  I make great money now. yeah.  I find myself starting to hate the green stuff.  I move to B'ham for this job/the promotion it promised and now I find myself not even wanting it anymore.  If I stick it out they may even move me to the great city of Philadelphia... awesome.  It is absolutely DUMB to give up my wages for a job that I am good at... on the verge of being the best at... but I feel my heart pulling me down another path.  Unfortunately all the things that I want seem to be ironically attached to money and if I leave this job for the sake of happiness/sanity those things will completely vanish as possibilities.  Sometimes I just want to crawl back into the womb.

LJM's previous TV appearance

As all of you I'm sure have suspected...

Yes, LJM has been performing under the assumed name 'Amanda Overmyer' on TVs beloved American Idol.  Please do not continue to vote for the LJM.  A vote for LJM actually binds you, in contract, with Satan himself.  You have been warned.

7 odd things about me...

Laura tagged me on her blog.... so here's my response...

1.  I LOVE television.  I'm not talking I watch an hour or two every night.  no, no. I plan my days around tv shows, wait with baited breath to see what has happened to my favorite characters and watch even the fluff shows (like Designing Women-- my favorite).  The awesome power of DVR has allowed me to have a somewhat normal social life, but even Luke knows not to disrupt 'my shows'.

2.  (in response to Laura's #2)  I cannot stand spicy foods.  I usually blame it on being allergic to my braces when I was in the fourth grade and having an open wound instead of a mouth for a year of my life... but really... I'm just a wuss.

3.  I have a tattoo of two 'f holes' on my back-- like Man Ray's "Violin d'Ingres".

4.  I love working with my hands.  Any excuse to get my hands dirty is a good one (almost).  As long as it is creative or constructive I enjoy it.

5.  I always wear a bra... even when I sleep.

6.  I'm really good with numbers.  I can recall long strings of numbers with relative ease.  Letters on the other hand... they always move around on me.  I can't spell and some days I can hardly read.  The entire time I was reading "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy "Gandalf" read to me as 'Gadlaf'.  I have no idea why.

7.  I love, love, love to make people laugh.  

So there ya have it!

In Desperate Need of a Change

So recently I have found myself waiting for a big change to come along.  I just needed something to happen.  I found myself just sitting around worrying, over nothing.  It was like a new hobby I was developing, the constant need to fret.  I never had anything to direct my frustrations at, just overall dissatisfaction.  Which is even more frustrating in and of itself, because I have so much to be happy about.  I have a good job, a fantastic husband and a ridiculously adorable cat.  But even still I had nothing in particular weighing on my conscience, and it was driving me crazy.  

A few weeks ago I went to visit a friend of mine who recently gave birth to her first child.  A beautiful little girl.  I did what any good friend/photographer would do in the situation.  I took pictures.  Because of my job I wasn't able to attend any of the pre-baby activities or really spend anytime at all with my friend while she was pregnant.  So I compensated for the potentially awkwardness of the situation by doing something I'm comfortable with... hiding behind my camera.  I couldn't quite empathize with the pain or drama or life altering affect of child birth so while everyone chatted I snapped photos.  So when that was done I just sat there in awe of the situation.  I have been friends with this girl for over ten years.  She was one of my first friends when we moved from Georgia to Alabama. The first time I met her she was in the eighth grade and carrying around a baby doll.  We stayed friends throughout high school and even  though I was a year ahead of her in school we ended up going to the same college and staying friendly.  She ended up being a bridesmaid in my wedding and I in turn was one of eight attendents in her wedding (which was just a few months after mine).  And now she is a mother. Crazy.  But I digress.  

So there I am sitting there in my friends house, holding her new baby and like a git what am I doing?!  Feeling sorry for myself. 

 The promotion I was waiting for had been postponed.  And as much as I had told myself I wouldn't, I put a lot of eggs in that basket.  We moved away from Montgomery for the sake of this promotion, knowing that we didn't want to end up in Birmingham.  We were living in rental with no hope of moving out anytime soon.  And I was working in a studio that was more of a hassle than it seemed to be worth.  I just felt stagnant.

So what do I take it out on?  What is the one thing in the bounds of my immediate control?  Trivial as it may seem... it was my hair.  

As long as I can remember (at least since puberty) I have had a strange relationship with my hair.  Growing up it was straight as a board and when adolescence came along, genetics threw me a curve ball and decided it was time for it to go curly.  So for an frizzy two year period I survived taunts of the chia pet jingle and classmates sticking pencils in my ponytail without my knowledge.  So like all pre-teen girls, I found something about my body to torture my self over. In my later teens I eventually grew to appreciate my curly hair, even though I still didn't like for anyone to touch it.  Then it turned into a force to reckon with.  All the sudden the teasing had taken another turn.  Jealous friends made it seem like I was flirting with some sort of unfair advantage and it was okay to make me feel guilty for getting attention from boys.  So what did I do then?  I took my senior trip and cut all of my hair off.  I had no more than two inches of length left.  I went to college with a short do and little bit less confidence.  Then came weight gain, re-growth, a bad dye job and the cycle starting all over again.  

I started growing it out when Luke and I began dating and cut it off after the wedding.  And since then I've been kind of in between.

 As a little girl my hair was a source of comfort for me.  My mother tells me that when I started 'acting wild' she would sit me down and braid my hair.  I'm sure it was just the simple act of making me sit still that did the trick, but to this day I'm never fully relaxed until my hair is pulled away from my face.  

So as I sat there wallowing for no good reason I made a decision.  The hair had to go.  It was weighing me down.  Along with my sister and another friend we planned a trip to a salon that accepted walk-ins and was open late.  Forty minutes later, I came out a new woman.  My outlook on life has actually changed since I've had my hair cut!  I feel refreshed and relaxed and ready to take on the world.  It is so funny to me that something that seems so trivial to most would have such an impact on me, but what can I say?  It has.