Friday, April 4, 2008

Did you miss me...

*note picture added as ironic side-note... I actually meant this... sad isn't it?


Probably not, but I'm back anyways...

You know how you feel when you run into an old friend that you haven't seen in years?  You used to be really close, but you just drifted apart.  Of course, you're excited to see them, but when they ask how you've been and what has been happening in your life, you just don't know how to sum up years worth of experiences so you just say...'not much'.  That's how I feel as I sit here typing.  It seems that all at once, everything and nothing at all has happened.  Work is work.  I could complain more, but I don't want to risk sounding like a broken record.  I am still in need of change and at risk of becoming stagnant.  I would look for new work, but it seems pointless.  I know too many people looking and not finding.  Besides I would be immediately fired if I was caught submitting my resume anywhere.  I make great money now. yeah.  I find myself starting to hate the green stuff.  I move to B'ham for this job/the promotion it promised and now I find myself not even wanting it anymore.  If I stick it out they may even move me to the great city of Philadelphia... awesome.  It is absolutely DUMB to give up my wages for a job that I am good at... on the verge of being the best at... but I feel my heart pulling me down another path.  Unfortunately all the things that I want seem to be ironically attached to money and if I leave this job for the sake of happiness/sanity those things will completely vanish as possibilities.  Sometimes I just want to crawl back into the womb.

5 comments:

LMilky said...

Not that you asked for my opinion but I'm going to give it to you...People with families that are very happy make it on FAR LESS than what you and Luke are bringing in... with your salary and other bonuses you really shouldn't worry that you won't have enough to provide for a family. The gadgets and trips to Europe seem far above adequate amounts of money to have if starting a business and/or family is what you REALLY want.

LMilky said...

I also have a small opinion that I would like to submit before the court...

...I think you are at a very classical situation for a lot of people around our age and station of life. You are torn between making money at a job you may not love or risking not making that much to do something you absolutely can't wait to get out of bed every day and do. I really don't think it is any more complicated that that. You just have to sit down and decide what ultimately is your number 1 priority.

My prayers are with you as you figure this out.

Nick M. said...

The "I have a small opinion..." comment was from me. I forgot to switch users before posting it. Whoops!!

luke said...

in defense...

i think something that's missing here is a realization that unlike many people in America, when we decide to start a family (as its not really a matter of "if" anymore), jackie will absolutely have to leave her job, no ifs, ands, or buts. so, cut down our income by about 70% (thats our income currently sans Portrait Innovations) and we're nearly poverty line level.

which is the scary thing. which is why we're doing the things we're doing now as opposed to putting them off for a "better" time.

i think its unfair to look at any of this as whining or "oh woe is me" talk. we both saw what our sets of parents went through raising us and the things that they look back on and wish they could have done or visited. i think nick's got it right, and jac and i have had this discussion many times.

i also think it has to be realized that as much either of us bitch or moan about our jobs, outside of that, we wouldn't ask for anything else. we're leading quite the charmed life right now, and we're soaking in as much of it as possible before things take a drastic turn for the different. not necessarily worse... just different.

LMilky said...

(tail between legs)